Listen
Do you ever just sit in the presence of The Lord? I mean really meditate there? Free of requests, free of expectation? Mediating in the presence of the Lord requires a form of intimacy that doesn't come naturally or organically to me as an ordinary, sinful (and somewhat awkward) person. I can't speak for any of you, but I know that for me, sitting and waiting isn't my natural state. In fact, I usually sit before the Lord and dive right in: Into my struggle, into my sin, into my victories, my children, my marriage, my ministries, and everything in between. I'm sure that after every prayerful car-ride, God in all of His Glory takes a giant breath and thinks, "Whoa, child…you need to chill." I speak to Him as though He hasn't been present for every tear, every laugh, and every struggle, and yes…every thought. I speak to Him as though He has nothing to say. Even typing that brings tears to my eyes. But that's what this forum is, right? It's an opportunity for me to bear my heart to you; to say the things that I could never muster the courage to say out loud. I struggle to get out of my own way and allow the God of creation to speak and move. But, because He knows my innermost being, my quiet struggles, and deepest insecurities, He meets me there. Sometimes it's a gentle correction in a whisper, and sometimes He uses the words through the mouth of those I struggle the most with to speak into those private places. (I'm not going to lie, those instances aren't among my favorite ways He speaks to me.)
So, all that said, let me unpack this for you:
If you've been a believer for any amount of time, you know that with housing the God of the universe in your vessel, certain responsibilities are expected of you. Don't kill, don't lie, don't covet, don't be gluttonous, don't be an adulterer, don't curse, etc. There are basic "rules" that even non-believers know are expected for those who claim to be followers of Jesus. As a new believer, you try your best to be good and avoid the "big sins". I was no exception to this rule, and for the better part of my life as a believer, I've considered myself to be a "pretty good Christian". (Y'all, on this day, that is laughable.) No, I haven't killed anyone, I don't cuss, drink, or harm my children…but for me (or any of us, really) to think we've been "good" is barbaric. In fact, God's word tells us that "…We are all like an unclean thing, and all our righteousness's are as filthy rags; we all fade as a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away." WE ARE NOT GOOD. And more than that, being a follower of Jesus is more than a list of things "to do or not to do." He is good and does good in us, but we have to be able to learn to let him change things INSIDE of us, too.
LOVE. JOY. PEACE. PATIENCE. KINDNESS. GOODNESS. FAITHFULNESS. GENTLENESS. SELF-CONTROL. (Galatians 5:22-23) These are the fruit of the Spirit.
Love - I love EVERYONE in my own way. (As long as it's suitable and convenient and causes minimal discomfort.)
Joy - I have the JOY that only comes from the Lord. (As long as we're financially stable, I have no quarrels with my husband, family, or friends, and am fed.)
Peace - God is the provider of all things. I have peace that He will care for and meet every need. (Except
for when He needs MY help. Because I'M the one I can't count on for my own peace.)
Patience (Long-Suffering) - I accept trouble or suffering without getting upset. (Unless what is put before me is unfair, unkind, or otherwise a causer of any discomfort.)
Goodness - I do good things, root for my brothers and sisters, and show up for church every time the doors are open. (I deserve a pat on the back!)
Faithfulness- I maintain my calendar, show up for meetings, keep up with my study material, and otherwise do everything that is expected of me. (Yay for the organization, that's the way to worship the Lord!)
Gentleness - I love on the babies of the church, extend grace (when the offense isn't too great) forgive (when the apology is a loud as the disrespect was), and hug people (when they're someone I know well and trust).
Self-Control - I keep my mouth shut and don't get too angry. I don't throw or break things. I don't lash out or use ugly words when things get hard. (Sure, there's an internal storm and all the ugly that could possibly be thought in/about a person, but it doesn't come out so…I'm "good".)
Do these things ring a bell? Maybe you're rocking one and struggling with another. Maybe the list of ones you're struggling with is longer than the list of those you're not. Or maybe, you're better than me and really feel you're walking in the wide places of The Lord. (You go, girl!) But the truth is, on our very best day, our good works are as dirty rags. We're incapable of good! We can work hard, and love the best way be know-how, and snuggle the babies and pay for the meal behind us in the drive-thru line…but if our eyes aren't on JESUS as we do these things, who are we?
Example: This past week, my sister mentioned the word long-suffering multiple times in my presence, and the word rung in my ears for days. It's a word I know to be a fruit of the spirit, but I chased scripture for several hours one evening truly needing to know what it means to long-suffer with someone and this is what I found. Scripturally, the definition of long-suffering is patience which refers to the ability to endure injuries inflicted by others and the willingness to accept irritating or painful situations. When was the last time you've truly long-suffered with someone? I can tell you right now…I have STUNK in this area, especially in 2019. I have fought, and thrown up walls, and cried, and ran away until I'm blue in the face for the sake of avoiding anything that didn't bring me joy. And that is not of Jesus.
We're running full speed ahead into 2020. Please don't misunderstand, going to church and loving on babies, calendars and meetings, holding my tongue and behaving as God has called me to are all necessary things…but how is your heart, truly? I don't know about you…but after the mess of 2019, I could use the new mercies that God promises to provide every morning and January 2020 feels like a good launching point. Join me, sisters, in truly meditating on the fruits of the Spirit. When you love, are you allowing Jesus to truly love THROUGH you? When you're serving, are you doing it for applause or because the God of the universe has called you to walk in HIS name? Search yourself, spend time in prayer, surround yourself with people who draw forth your best, and actively seek the Face of Jesus Himself.
I'm loving you, rooting for you, praying for you, and challenging you to pick 2020 as the year to be who God as truly called you to be and get a little uncomfortable.
#GPdoneonpurpose
